Is It Worth Doing?

2020

I am beginning to think of the prospect of having children. After starting testosterone, I was able to visualize myself having a family of my own; I was no longer constricted to thinking of myself as a mother.This revelation fueled thoughts of family that have now been constant on my mind.I find myself revisiting the possibility of giving birth.I, now, understand it is an experience owned by many, not solely cisgender women.Would this be something I want to do? I understand choosing “yes” would mean halting my testosterone injections for over a year.I also understand this would cause me extreme dysphoria. Could I conquer this in order to bear a child of my own?How important is this to me?I wanted to create a visualization of this inner dialogue by comparing my body, pregnant versus on testosterone.Behind me, shots spell out the primary question I do not yet have an answer to. The question, unfinished. represents the stage I am in while posing it. However, I consider my literal actions underneath the needles to embody the final word, “doing.” Is it worth doing?